By now you should understand so much more about being a valuable, useful, and virtuous woman to your husband. You know how to bring him blessing and not cursing. You know how to hold his hands up and not hang off of his arms. You know how to be a help and not a hindrance. You know how, even though your husband doesn't actually need you, to bring value to his life and to that of your family. So now let's talk a little bit about how to MAGNIFY your value. In other words, how to make it even bigger, better, and MORE valuable.

Really it is not that difficult. There are really two major things you can do at all times to make your husband more effective as a Strong Man, and more likely and able to accomplish all of the things God has called him to do. Here they are:

NUMBER ONE: Always bring peace to your husband.

The number one thing we have rehearsed over and over again in this book is the destructive reality of women who are contentious, toxic, and dramatic. The results of this personality and behavior is that it destroys what would otherwise be a peaceful home environment.

Remember the early analogy about your husband being like a brick wall that surrounds your house? Well, have you ever been in a building that has that measure or level of security? It is an incredible feeling as it is so remarkably peaceful. There is very little outside noise. There is comfort knowing that you are safe and secure, and there is just a peace that is impossible to explain. It is a beautiful feeling, and the only way to describe it is peaceful.

The only way to destroy that peace is for the source of disruption to come from within the home. Because there is nothing that is going to get on the inside that came from the outside. Why? Because there is a giant 50 foot wall surrounding the house! So what could possibly be on the inside that could destroy the peace? A mouse? A cockroach? No, not hardly. Those things don't consume constant energy and they are mere blips on your husband's radar screen. The only thing inside your home that could destroy the peace is you, my dear lovely sister. You will either be the source of discord, strife, and contention, or you will be the one who maintains and magnifies the peace.

If you build a reputation for yourself as a peaceful woman who never fights, never argues, never is contentious, never whines, never complains, and never gets bent out of shape about anything, your husband will see you as infinitely valuable and he will always want to get home as soon as possible to seek refuge in your embrace. Yes, he is strong and powerful and mighty, but the stronger he is, the more he inwardly desires peace! Think about it. His life is nothing but battles. He is always battling, nonstop. Fighting to make money. Battling in the workplace. Warring against spiritual enemies. Contending with evil spirits. Crossing swords with tyrants and criminals. This is his day, every day. This is his life. Then after all of that, what kind of man wants to come home to fight with his bride?

Imagine if you, his bride, his lover, his companion, could give your Strong Man a place of refuge where he knew that you were never going to cause discord, strife, or pain. This includes even in the unlikely event that your Strong Man husband has to repent for some sin he has committed. If he can find refuge in your arms, you will quickly nurse him back to his place of strength, so he can battle the enemy once more.

And in all of this, you will be magnifying your value to him. He will see you as genuinely useful and as a valuable companion to him in this journey of life. And you will bring untold blessings to your home for all time.

NUMBER TWO: Always be beautiful

This one is very hard to help women with because we women are so self-destructive. We only look at the bad and never look at the good. We do it to ourselves and we do it to others. Look, I know you don't feel like you are as beautiful as you once were. None of us do. But that's not the point. You can always be and appear beautiful. You just need to accept that you're beautiful and recognize that your husband sees you that way. But the major secret for you to help you to be able to do this properly, is to learn to be beautiful as a form of service. Do it as a way to serve your husband, and for no other reason.

If you do it for him, you will always feel good about it. Eventually, you will learn to love it and you will even be proud of yourself again and you will learn to appreciate your own beauty because you will know and realize it is real. But more importantly, you will know that you are pleasing to your husband. You are doing him good and not evil!

Remember, your husband married you because you're pretty. There was no other reason. I wish there was. But you married a Strong Man, and Strong Men only marry pretty women. It is that simple. You will never see a strong man married to an average looking woman and definitely not an ugly woman. Remember, you're a Ferrari and your husband married you because you are one.

So always be beautiful.

Now one of the really pathetic things about women who are married to Strong Men is that they almost never utilize their unique resources in order to develop themselves. What do I mean by this? Well, as a wife of a Strong Man, you have resources that most women don't have! First of all, you have time! As the wife of a Strong Man, you are not in the workforce. So you have time that most women don't have. Up to 40 hours more time than the average woman each week!

Generally speaking, you will have more financial resources, as well. Strong Men are typically more financially blessed than others.

But the number one resource you have access to is: intelligence! Your husband is smart! He might even be a genius. I would imagine that there is not a single problem you could come up with that your husband couldn't find a solution to, and fast!

This means that no matter what the issue, your husband can help you develop yourself and provide you with resources to become the best at anything you want to be! Now, the truth is that there are only so many things that are worth doing as the wife of a Strong Man. At the top of the list is anything that pertains to education. Being an intelligent woman will make you more valuable to your husband, period. And perhaps you will decide to homeschool your children (which will definitely take a lot of time from you each week), and being well educated will pay handsome dividends in that regard, as well. (Before COVID I was not a very strong advocate for homsechooling and I really believed that private Christian schools were the best option. But after COVID I see that homeschooling is a very solid educational option for some families.)

But beyond education, there are many other skills that a godly wife of a Strong Man could and should develop in order to be a proper helpmeet to her husband and to further the Kingdom of God.

Remember your husband doesn't need you for anything. He only wants you. But just because he doesn't need you, that doesn't mean you can't adorn his life like jewelry and make it even better. So if you want to magnify your value, consider educating yourself or training yourself in the following areas of life:

HEALTH - learn the basics of healthy living and healthy lifestyles. Learn about sunshine, sleep, hydration, nutrition, exercise, vitamins, minerals, and the like. Learn what to eat and what not to eat. Learn what to avoid and what to adopt. You will be an additional blessing to your husband, if you were a cornucopia full of health knowledge. You will make him proud and cause him to brag about you and offer your intellect to all those around him. And most importantly, you will keep him, yourself, and your children healthy for your entire lives.

ETIQUETTE - This is a lost art amongst women. But there is nothing more awe-inspiring than a woman who has mastered the art of etiquette. All people: men, women, and children stand back in awe over a woman who just does everything right and with class. Etiquette extends to every part of life, but it is mostly an attitude. A woman with etiquette knows what to say and what not to say. How to stand, how to sit, when to speak, when to stay silent, when to come, when to leave, and how to everything with elegance and class. Sadly, most women knew at least some measure of etiquette in the past. But feminism has all but eliminated etiquette among women altogether.

SENSUALITY - I have only briefly mentioned this subject in this book, but the truth is that sensuality and intimacy are the most important elements of your relationship with your husband. I encourage you to read my best-selling book on the subject, The Married Christian Woman's Guide to Sex, Sensuality, and Pleasure (which was recently updated and republished in 2024). I put it all in there. Just note that sensuality is the quality about you that makes you a desirable, sensual woman. It is not the same as sexuality. But they are closely related. My suggestion is that you do everything possible to become an expert in feminine sensuality!

INTIMACY - Now this is just about sex. I'm going to make this as simple as possible: get good at sex. Become an expert. Be professional. I'm serious. We recognize levels of quality and expertise in everything else in life, it's foolish to assume that sex is not something you can improve in or master. You can get better. You can both have and give much more pleasure than you can imagine. So go for it!

FASHION - Women are predisposed to love fashion. And that's okay. As long as you don't dip into excess in your concern or desire to be fashionable, then you are simply being a woman. And fashion helps to make one beautiful. You will be more valuable to your husband, if you maintain your beauty and excel in physical attractiveness. And don't let your low self-esteem harm you. Your husband loves you in your post-baby body. He just wants you to have confidence in your own beauty. Flaunt your stuff. Be fashionable, be sexy, and be beautiful! Remind him of why he married you! Because remember, he married you because you were beautiful, so maximize your beauty, and you'll likewise maximize your relationship with your husband!

MODELING - There is an actual art and skill to modeling and while you may not think yourself to be a model, the truth is that you are beautiful and probably beautiful enough to be an actual model. Think about what a blessing you would be to your husband if you are always at his side looking like a gorgeous model! Like Melania Trump. You can be that to your husband and in doing so you will surely maximize your value in his eyes!

POSTURE - This goes along with modeling and beauty, but I am only making this point because I have found that women of today, even beautiful ones, have awful posture! I don't know what happened to us, but women in the 50s used to have perfect posture, and today everyone looks like they are on their way to becoming the hunchback of Notre Dame! I hope and pray we can overcome this and I encourage you to do so.

WHAT ABOUT DOMESTIC SKILLS?

Being a good domestic is valuable, but nowhere near as valuable as the list above. Remember your husband is a Strong Man. If your husband was a blue collar worker, then yes, domestic skills are more valuable to him. But your husband isn't looking for utility, he is looking for adornment. He drives exotic, luxury, or sports cars, remember? He doesn't drive pickup trucks or minivans.

Think about jewelry and what it does: it makes things look better. It adorns things that are already nice. Jewelry doesn't help ugly things look good, but it helps pretty things look better. That is what you are like to your husband. You are adornment. You are a treasure. You are a blessing. Your job is not to fulfill specific needs that are missing in his life, as much as it is to just make his life better.

The only exception to this general rule might be with cooking. And that is because every man on planet earth loves a woman who can cook. They say the fastest way to a man's heart is through his belly, and Strong Men are no exception to this rule.