Libby Doe

Men are simple creatures. But Strong Men are a bit more complicated. And by complicated, I don’t mean that they are difficult to figure out or that their nature or tendencies are different than other men. Strong Men are still simple in the sense that they want to be loved, respected, and most of all desired by their wives. They also find satisfaction in simple things like a good meal, and a nice round of passionate sex.

However, Strong Men are more complicated in the sense that they are vastly superior to us in every way. They are dreaming up ways to put man on the moon, to end tyranny, to cure cancer, to spread the Gospel, to stop evil, to save children, and to heal the nations. And they’re not just dreaming; they actually do it. These strong men are incredibly advanced in their minds. Some of them have brains like computers or calculators. They create art, invent machines to ease our lives, discover scientific laws, develop advanced music, build bridges over water, lead thousands of people, preach sermons that save lost souls, design and construct skyscrapers over 1,000 feet tall, and they create technology like trains, planes, and automobiles. And they literally put men on the moon!

We women could never dream of accomplishing such things. Our minds don’t work that way. They can’t work that way. They never will. No matter how much we try to force these things through feminist programs, women were simply not built to do these things.

So you have to understand that when you interrupt a strong man’s mind (which is his greatest asset and the true force and source of his strength), you could be walking into a complicated arena. Your husband’s mind is not to be messed with. It is not to be mishandled or disrespected.

First of all, because it’s just wrong. But second of all, a Strong Man knows the value and the importance of the things he is working on in his mind and his heart. And if you come and mess that up, then it will rightfully be seen as though you are hindering or hampering whatever he is working on from being accomplished or achieved. So with that foundation, let's review a couple of typical attributes of Strong Men that are relevant to you as his wife:

1. STRONG MEN HATE MEANINGLESS CONTENTION
All men hate whining, nagging, complaining, and needless drama. But strong men have even less patience for it because it interrupts their ability to achieve and accomplish.

Yes it is true, that your husband should be patient with you and treat you like the weaker vessel (1 Peter 3:7), and I would be willing to bet that he does. But if you are an emotionally weak, contentious feminist at heart, I would also be willing to bet that you continually revert back to your same old whining, nagging, complaining and needless drama at every turn and your Strong Man husband has gone far past the point of no return with you. You have exhausted his patience.

I’m not making an excuse for husbands who lose their patience with their wives, because Biblically they shouldn’t do that (Ephesians 4:2). But I am giving you an explanation for his loss of patience. Quite frankly, you should have repented a long time ago. You should have stopped whining, nagging, complaining, and creating needless drama.

Additionally, since your husband is a strong man and he operates at higher mental and intellectual levels, he is going to tend to get frustrated by people who say stupid things. Or by people who are terribly indecisive. Unfortunately, we women have a tendency to say stupid things all the time and to be terribly indecisive. As you can see, this is basically a recipe for destruction.

You see, Strong Men are problem solvers by nature, so they can’t stand anything that promotes, supports, perpetuates, or creates problems. And if they see you as someone who creates problems instead of helping to relieve them, or better yet, just staying out of the way, then over time you will come to be resented.

So to truly help your husband out, you are going to have to learn a simple old trick I learned from the wise old lady I referred to earlier as “Naomi.” She told me this, “Darling, if you have no idea what you’re talking about, then just keep your mouth shut.” I don’t know why this is so hard for us women to do, but we need to learn it again. Women in times past recognized their place. We did not butt into men’s conversations while they were solving the world’s problems or pioneering new inventions and innovations. But today, thanks to feminism, we feel the need to compete with our husbands, and we involve ourselves in areas of their lives where we do not belong and end up saying stupid things that don’t help and only serve to frustrate our husbands.

If you have ever had young children, you know what this is like. When they try to help you do something, they just end up causing more work for you to do. That is because they have no idea what they are doing because they are so young and ignorant. They're just kids! That’s what your Strong Man husband feels like when you butt into areas of his life that do not pertain to you.

Stick to being lovely, beautiful, and highly sensual and you will have a great life.


2. STRONG MEN ARE NOT ALWAYS PHYSICALLY STRONG
An important thing to note and remember about Strong Men is that they are not necessarily physically strong. In fact, of the ones we know about in modern times, where we have actual pictures of them, be they political leaders, church leaders, or other strong men who led revolutionary movements, none of them were what we would consider physically strong. They were never bodybuilders.

The truth is that most bodybuilders are emotionally weak and unstable and use physical bodybuilding to cope with their weaknesses and trauma. That is not to say that being physically strong is meaningless; not at all. In fact, there are many admirable traits of those who stay physically fit throughout their old age, but the Bible is very clear that “bodily exercise profits a little.” (1 Timothy 4:8) In other words, the true strength of a man is his faith and his spiritual and mental fortitude and commitment to God. That is where a man’s true strength lies.

Physical exercise, to keep one’s self “in shape” and to ensure you have sufficient energy and vitality for the calling on your life is admirable and necessary to a certain degree, but in comparison with faith and commitment to God’s Word, it profits little.

We know, for example, that the Apostle Paul had a physical presence that was weak (2 Corinthians 10:10), but few would argue that he was not one of the strongest men in the New Testament. Likely your husband is not a bodybuilder, but don’t let the fact that he is not He-Man detract from the fact that he is your man, and it is your responsibility to be his helpmeet.


3. STRONG MEN APPRECIATE BEAUTIFUL THINGS INCLUDING OTHER WOMEN
Your husband likes beauty and there is a chance that he is surrounded by beautiful women. This is normal. Men, in general, like beautiful things and aesthetically pleasing surroundings make men achieve more. It is a simple fact. Cars, clothes, buildings, art, landscaping, and more all contribute piece by piece to the inspiration that drives a man to achieve. But for Strong Men, it is even more intense. Strong men go beyond average men and really love and appreciate beautiful things and this includes beautiful women.

Remember, that’s why he married you! So it should not shock you if your SCM husband is not bothered or intimidated by beautiful women. It shouldn’t bother you if there are beautiful women where he works, or who work for him, or who are around him while he accomplishes whatever it is that he does. He might even appreciate artwork which depicts beautiful women, and he is certain to enjoy movies and other forms of entertainment that feature beautiful people.

The only concern is infidelity, not appreciation or recognition. And a major way to push a man towards infidelity is to prevent or discourage him from appreciating beauty. First of all, if you do not provide him with physical attraction or sexual satisfaction, then you obviously need to be very concerned. If you are visually boring and sexually lifeless, then yes, you are going to cause problems for your husband. Then if you add your own dramatic nature which tells your husband not to work around certain women, or to fire his beautiful secretary, or to eliminate some beautiful painting of a beautiful woman, or to close his eyes on a movie when some beautiful woman appears, then you are simply going to push your husband further away.

Think of it like food. Men who are full don’t eat at someone else’s table. But a starving man will eat anywhere at any time. He is starving! And just like it would be silly for you to get dramatic, insecure, or jealous when your husband compliments the appearance or demonstrates his desire to eat some gorgeously prepared meal that you did not prepare, it would likewise be silly to feel the same way when your husband appreciates or recognizes the beauty in other women who are not you. Relax, you likewise think men are attractive and handsome, don’t you? There’s lots of hunks and handsome men in the movies and in life who you recognize as being handsome, debonair, and attractive. And if your husband is a Strong Man, he will not care if you recognize some man’s physical attractiveness. The rule is always this simple: you can look but you can’t touch.

But if you change that rule to you can’t even look, then you’re going to create a negative environment that, in turn, creates a permanent conflict between you and your husband that essentially amounts to you ensuring that he is always starving and then getting angry when he looks around for something to eat.

He’s a Strong Man; he doesn’t need your whining and complaining. If you want to ensure your husband has “eyes only for you,” then instead of wasting energy hating the fact that he recognizes beauty, just make yourself beautiful all the time and give him great sex all the time. There is no greater confidence you can ever have concerning the faithfulness of your husband than by just keeping him sexually satisfied.

And there is no greater confidence you can give him than to not be a jealous psycho woman who is bothered by the fact that your husband respects and recognizes beauty around him, including in other women. When you demonstrate that level of self-confidence, it just makes you that much more attractive to him!


4. STRONG MEN ARE INTIMIDATING
We discussed this in chapter 12 already. So yes, you already know that a Strong Man is intimidating. But I want you to look at it from another perspective: a strong man is intimidating in the same way a beautiful woman is intimidating. It has nothing to do with their personality; it is just their presence, their position, and their ethereal power.

You can’t explain why or how, you just know that he is intimidating. That doesn’t mean scary, just intimidating. It means you won’t want to take things to him or talk openly about things and you’ll blame it on him, when in reality it is you. You are afraid to talk to your own husband because you can’t get past his position of power and authority. Yet, he is still the man who loves you and desires you and protects you and provides for you.

Remember, the only way your children will ever feel comfortable and confident around their father is if you are open, calm, and peaceful with him and always maintain an open line of communication. And most importantly, that you always show public and open affection and praise for him. And it must be authentic. Anybody can praise a Strong Man in private, or when he is not around, but for you to be forward with him and affectionately praise him in the presence of your children, they will naturally see that he is easily approachable and lovable and will want the same and will interact the same.

But if you are timid and fearful and if you hold things in, instead of openly speaking with your husband about everything in a loving and calm manner; your children will only have the natural feeling of intimidation magnified subconsciously, and while they will probably always respect your husband (their father), they will also feel disconnected from him because of intimidation. They will feel like they can’t talk to him or approach him or just be “normal kids” around him. And it will be mostly because of how you treated him and interacted with him.


5. STRONG MEN ARE GENERALLY STOIC MEN
A strong man is a stoic man. It’s not that he has no emotions, it is that he has control over his emotions. He doesn’t emote, he is stoic. A stoic man gets things done. He conquers the world. He protects his family. He provides for his family. But he is not “emotionally sensitive” or “emotionally available” or any other soft things like that because he is a Strong Man. You will have to learn to get over your pathetic needs for emotional availability. I know that sounds harsh, but I am particularly strong on this issue because it was so hard for me to learn and to get over. I desperately wanted my husband to be “emotionally available” for me, but he just wouldn’t change. It was only over time that I realized that if my husband was more emotionally available, he would also be weaker, softer, and not the Strong Man that I actually wanted.

I’m not saying that emotionally available and sensitive men are “soft,” I’m just saying that emotionally available and sensitive men are not Strong Men! And if I want my Strong Man to be a Strong Man, then I have to get over my useless desire for emotional sensitivity and availability. Because it doesn’t help anything in the real world anyway. It only pacifies the emotional instability of us silly women.

And guess what, you can also emotionally pour yourself into your Strong Man and he will respond. But just be prepared for him to respond to your problems with solutions. That’s what he does. He finds solutions. If you just “want to talk” then you’re going to have frustrations for the rest of your life and you are going to see your SCM husband as a monster and he will see you as a hindrance.

The problem with weak women is that they can’t take or receive correction. As soon as you’re married and your husband becomes your legal head, once he corrects you for the first time, if you’re an emotionally weak woman, you will begin to see your husband as a monster instead of a hero. And this spirals out of control over time until the inevitable takes place.

But your husband was never a monster. He was simply a Strong Man who was giving you instruction and/or correction. It is his duty. It is his responsibility. It is his role. You simply couldn’t take it because you’re a rebel. Maybe your husband said it with a tone you didn’t like. Maybe he acted indifferent and you saw him as cold and cruel. But no, he’s just a stoic Strong Man who leads and gets things done. He is God’s man. And your rebellion made you see him in an evil light just like the wicked men of Israel saw Moses in an evil light.


6. STRONG MEN DON'T GET HURT, THEY GET ANNOYED.
If you or others are constantly doing the same thing over and over to your Strong Man, you are not going to hurt his feelings, you are simply going to make him feel annoyed. This is difficult for women to understand because we get our feelings hurt. When things don't go our way or we don't get what we want, or we feel like we have not been treated properly, we get hurt.

But your husband is not that way. He gets annoyed. He feels like his time has been wasted. And that frustration can easily come across as anger and harshness. But it's not. He's just annoyed. You know how it feels when a fly keeps buzzing around your head and it won't leave you alone? At some point of time you kind of snap, right? Does that make you a harsh or cruel person? Does it make you an angry zealot? Or are you just really annoyed by this nasty little creature buzzing around you who won't leave you in peace? Well, that's what Strong Men feel about those who won't stop badgering them with meaningless problems and strife. And speaking of meaningless problems and strife…