Libby Doe

Our husband’s weakness or point of vulnerability is that he is a conscientious Christian Man. Remember, this book is not about Strong Men, but it is about Strong Christian Men. Sure, there’s lots of similarities between general Strong Men and Strong Christian Men, but there are some important differences, as well.

The most obvious is that a Christian man must be a Christian first. He serves God, fears God, and must follow a specific rulebook: the Bible. A Christian man isn’t allowed to make up his own rules as he sees fit, he has to obey God and the Bible.

And this concern that he has for following God and the Bible, is actually a vulnerability. It is not wrong for him to be this way, obviously, but it is a vulnerability.

A vulnerability is the “state of being exposed to the possibility of being attacked or harmed.” You see, just like you are your husband’s kryptonite, your SCM husband has a vulnerability and that is the fact that he desperately wants to do God’s Will. He wants to please God. He wants to avoid sin.

These are obviously all wonderful traits and desires but as his wife, you must note that this leaves him wide open to attack, as well. And, this is the number one reason why a Strong Christian Man with an emotionally weak wife becomes impotent in the kingdom of God, while other Strong Men, who are not God-fearing or conscientious of God’s Word can continue to go on and do exploits in their respective realms.

Consider men like Donald Trump and Elon Musk and so many others who are at the top of their game, fighting, conquering, accomplishing, and more, all without the hindrances of that pesky little rule book we call the Bible.

Donald Trump has had 3 wives and more than likely has had many sexual relations beyond his wives. I don’t want to surmise, but the evidence is there. Elon Musk has had all sorts of wives and girlfriends and “baby mama’s” as well, along with a strange and sordid history with them all. I am not criticizing nor judging these men, I am simply stating facts. Okay?

So why do I bring them up? Well, because these men are unencumbered by a conscientious need to submit to the Bible and to be right in the eyes of God Almighty. They simply do what they want to do and what they feel is right. And because they are both Strong Men, but not Strong Christian Men, they can move forward and accomplish nearly whatever their hearts desire because they don’t have the same conscientiousness that your husband has.

You see, the Bible has a whole set of rules for your husband as it pertains to his relationship with his wife. I know you know this already. You probably have used these scriptures before to abuse and gaslight your husband:

• 1 Peter 3:7 Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered.
• Colossians 3:19 “Husbands, love your wives, and be not bitter against them.”
• Ephesians 5:25 “Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loves the church, and gave himself for it.”

Your husband has some seriously high standards he has to live by according to the Bible. He is not allowed to be bitter against you (even though you've likely driven him to that place of bitterness). He has to be patient with you and give you honor even in your state of weakness. He must be willing to sacrifice his life for you, just like Christ did for the church. That's a lot. And that's not easy.

So what does this mean? It means his conscientiousness to the Word of God is his ultimate vulnerability. If he feels like his relationship with you is not at the standard that God has required of him, then he is going to have to put the rest of his life on hold in order to resolve it.

Your husband, just like all human beings, has a finite amount of energy to give to his family, his work, and his calling. Yes it is true that Strong Men have much more of this energy than the typical “average” man. But it is still finite.

And the more of this energy he has to give to resolve his issues with you, the less of that energy he has available to accomplish his mission. The less of his life’s calling will ever be realized. And all of it, no matter how you want to spin it, is your fault.

Your contentions, as already described in this book, are like a vacuum sucking all of his energy away from the things that matter, unto you and your irrelevant problems that don’t even really exist. And because your husband is conscientious, he will literally have to take his energy away from things that matter and put them on you. Non Christian men don’t have this vulnerability and that is why they seem to accomplish so much more. It is because they are unencumbered by the limitations of the Bible.

But in your case, or rather in the case of your Strong Christian Man, he is regulated by the Bible, and the amount of success he has in accomplishing all of the work that God Himself has called him to complete, will be directly proportional to how little his wife sucks away his energy by her contentions or lack thereof. You and I have more power in the kingdom of God to either advance it or to hinder it than any of us have ever realized!